27.10.15

+4,5,6+

So I wake up pretty sleep deprived and pissed off mostly because Cody (as we'll now call DL because it's a name evocative of the all-American dream and he'd like that) has developed two sleeping positions in the two years we've been together: the swastika and crucifix, which leave me cold and clinging to the my side of the bed six nights a week. So I resolve that when we eventually do settle on a house of our own I want two double beds side by side so that we can become the quentisential 50s couple, apart but fucking well rested.


And when he gets up to go to work the following things happen: 
• I lie wide awake for forty minutes then admit defeat and get up. 
• Physical Attraction from Madonna's self titled 1983 debut album plays while I'm in the shower. I decide I'd have bought this album six years before I was born and danced in disreputable nightclubs in London as part of the double life played out to spare a mothers tears in a city somewhere up north. And you're wantin' my body, I don't mind...
• I do chest and arms in the gym. An angry Eastern European grunts, pissed off, when I tell him I'm not finished with the bench press.
• I meet my mother at an unremarkable French bistro. She drinks half a bottle of white and we discuss _____ and ____ while I strip half a roast chicken and avoid anything remotely carb. "Can we talk about Christmas?" "Not really".
• I buy two Marino wool Ted Baker  jumpers for the office and three fitted Reiss shirts (one pale blue, two white). 
• G texts to say she misses me. I lie "I've missed you too" but the real truth is I never give absence real thought. We're all just extras. Let's do lunch real soon. 
• A woman in her late fifties (sixties?) lies broken at the bottom of an escalator. Boutique shopping bags crumpled, paralysed with fear. Blood soaked Burberry trench. I don't stop with the small crowd gathered. What use could I be? 
•I think about the woman at the foot of the escalator and the fragility of life as I'm getting ready for bed at 23.57 and the blood makes me vomit three times 

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